See the collage above? These people above are those AWESOME people in my life. Yeah, they are I SWEAR. Well decisions have been made, things are done. I have nothing more to say, I'm left speechless. This week, I went through struggle of emotions.
Well, this week started off still as the old routine, chasing of students because investiture had not came in so life was great to me. However on Tuesday, the last rehearsal was one of the worst day of the week (take note, one of the worst, not the worst.) Why? Cause the leaders weren't listening to us, they gave us trouble, they weren't understanding. And I asked myself, are they really leaders? The investiture committee spent so much effort in organizing the event, arranging the chairs for them, make the slide show for them, make the music, some of us have to stay up late to do the proposal, write the letter of appointment, check the bagdes one by one for them and they can simply take it for granted. They can ask questions like 'Ehy why is it so slow? Wasting my time you know?' or 'I don't even want to be a councilor, can i skip the investiture?' Again, I was left speechless. I really wanted to let them know, I didn't want them to be councilors as well, I don't. But what can I do, my dear PSC worked so hard so many months and they didn't even have the chance to lay their hands on the badge and the tie, and all of you who just came in not even for a day and is complaining so much, and just took off the badges and ties as you like? Can't they give scb atleast some respect? And yes, I cried. During the rehearsal, I cried. I asked myself, Why do we spend so much effort on making the rehearsal the best for people who doesn't appreciate that? Then I told myself, forget it, its the last event for the existing councilors to plan, let's just make the best out of it. So Wednesday, the actual day. They caught me by surprise, as they were so much more cooperative. And I did not expect myself to be able to laugh and joke with my mentors (well, since the school don't give my 2010 exco recognition, I will.) seriously, I didn't expect things to turn out this way. When the whole thing starts, I felt nothing. Nothing. But when Jane started her speech, I felt tears at the corner of my eyes. And when the exco 2011 bowed, I felt as if someting was chewing on my heart. And then I saw Odessa speaking, Aneesa was tearing infront of me, I admit I did drop a few tears. When YiMian and Odessa led the Leader's Pledge, I re-pledged it too. I was glad, that atleast we got something out of this shit. Atleast its the existing councilors leading the whole scb. I felt so uncomfortable, dirty and disgusted taking photos with them. Seriously, that's what I felt. I guess I still need time to accept them. I went back to council room with YiMian, Aneesa, Jaslyn and Yingxin, I looked around, that room which involved so much emotions we once had. How will it turn out to be in the upcoming months? The next day, I quarelled with Yimian and we had no morning duty. WE. HAD. NO. MORNING. DUTY. I felt as if a part of me went missing. The feeling was awkward. After the national anthem, myself, Clarice, Bryan and Fitz went back class, we witnessed how chaotic it were, they laughed, sacarstically. On the second floor, we witness how the school was like withouht us doing duty, and Bryan say 'Thats what they got for relying on the councilors too much they thought they can do without us. They were wrong.' Thatb sentence hangover my head for a period of time. I went back class, few minutes later I cried, real badly. I glanced to look for Clarice, she is tearing too. We looked at each other in the eye, we knew exactly what were going through our mind. Nearing the end of the lesson Mr Tay asked why I cried, I shook my head. He told me if anybody bullied me just let him know. I nodded. But, if I were to tell him Mr Phang were the one who made all this shit, what can he do? Later, more 'heat' between me and Yimian carried on, I was wondering why she couldn't understand, she used to know what we were thinking about, why the sudden change? Till now, I've no idea. But one sentence is all that takes for her to make me stop all this shit. She said 'I beg you la, don't give them attitude anymore.' yes, the word beg, that's my weak point. I have nothing else I could say, they won, because Odessa and Yimian, both spoke up for them.
So, the best day of this week is Friday. :) APRIL'S FOOL! Yes, it was a success, had so much fun playing trick on others. :) Just love it!
That's all for this week I guess. I really need more time to accept them. I really do.
You never really know. But when they know you'll know, you know? -Finding Nemo
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